Meg Scanlon

In the Words of Glennon Doyle, Let’s Untame Ourselves of Societal Expectations About How and When to Eat Croutons
Please join me in this call to action
Meg Scanlon
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Published in
Greener Pastures Magazine
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3 min read
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Just now
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Photo by Cats Coming on Pexels
I, Glennon Doyle, have been encouraging you to open your minds to a way of looking at the world without limitations, some self-imposed and some societally imposed. We allow society to dictate so many aspects of…

This Meeting Could Have Been A Tome
Meg Scanlon
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Published in
The Haven
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5 min read
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7 hours ago
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Photo by Betul Sengel on Pexels
When I browse the interwebs, I keep coming across the trend, “This meeting could have been an email,” and I have never been more envious.
My meetings are so interminable that I am trying to start my internet sensation of “This meeting could have been a tome.” Maybe a few of you can relate.
Here is how all of the meetings I have to attend and activ...

Woman On Thin Ice After Calling Nonpareils Sno-caps at Bridal Shower
Meg Scanlon
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Published in
The Haven
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2 min read
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Feb 6, 2024
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Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels
In what seemed like an innocent compliment at local bride-to-be Amanda Egger’s bridal shower, friend June Sherman mistakenly referred to the delicious chocolate candy in a bowl on the table as Sno-caps. June stated, “I haven’t had Sno-caps in so long!” to which all conversation came to a screeching halt.
Bridal...

It Took 8+ Years To Admit, But I, Master Splinter, Am The Original Pizza Rat
Meg Scanlon
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Published in
Slackjaw
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3 min read
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Image Copyright: Nickelodeon. (Fair Use.)
I, Master Splinter, am the original Pizza Rat. You may be wondering why it has taken me so long to admit this, and to that, I would say the pandemic was the catalyst. NYC was hit particularly hard by COVID-19. It was increasingly difficult to get access to any food, especially pizza. Rats even turned ...

Satire

I don’t want to brag, but I have figured out the secret to life. I know how to keep it all together, now. It’s not therapy, it’s not going to the gym, it’s not maintaining a healthy relationship or any of that nonsense— it’s dry shampoo. I know, I know, it’s so obvious, right?
When my building had to turn off the water for a few hours, I panicked and considered washing my hair with some lime La Croix. As I was about to pour the sparkling beverage onto my oily mane over the kitchen sink, it hi...

LOS ANGELES — A years-long study by scientists at UCLA has proved once and for all that drinking eight glasses of water a day is harder than anything else you will ever experience in your life.
“Drinking 64 ounces of water daily supports vital functions in the body: it aids digestion and can make your headaches disappear. But only 7% of the population are able to complete this Herculean task each day,” said world renowned hydrologist Dr. Pierre LaTrobe. “We polled adults who had recently pass...

BETHESDA, MD- Area woman Trisha O’Neil realized after countless hours spent on Zoom that she has Resting Zoom Face. Instead of looking at the speaker, Trisha often found herself watching her own face while listening, or more accurately pretending to listen. “I thought my face at rest was neutral, maybe even warm and expressed that I was actively listening and cared. But I now realize it’s more of an incredulous, WTF are you talking about, that idea is impossible to execute on that timeline an...

UNITED STATES— While chlorine is excellent at killing germs in public swimming pools, this summer pools will be filled with hand sanitizer instead of water in an abundance of caution. Leading pool scientists state this approach to pool safety seems like the most logical option. The viscous and gel like solution actually makes swimming easier. Pool patrons must note, you will not be able to move and float in the same way, so swimmers may need an initial adjustment period to get their sanitizer...

Area Teen Did Not Poop Her Pants At Field Hockey Practice Despite Rumors
Meg Scanlon
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1 min read
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Jan 19, 2024
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BALTIMORE–Varsity field hockey center midfielder for the Kennedy Wolverines, Jessica Wagner, slipped on goose poop on the field Thursday afternoon. The slip resulted in her falling onto her butt and thus getting goose poop on her shorts in the exact same spot actual human poop would go if one were to poop their pants. “Everyone thinks I p...

Fun
New species alert! The Shark Dog has been spotted on both land and sea! Its mission -- to get you pumped for Shark Week. The Discovery Channel's Shark Week 2016 kicked off June 26. Check out their official site here. Get excited! 1. The Longhaired DachShark 2. The Great Blue Shark 3. The Park Shark 4. The DachShark 5. The Shark-A-Poo 6. The Doggie Paddle Shark 7. The Great Yellow Shark 8. The German Shephark 9. Sand Sharks 10. The Hammer Head 11. The Sharki 12. The Shug 13. The Common Kit...

When George and Kate Abraham added Oakley, a Newfoundland puppy, to their family, they knew it would be fun.
“We have always had a love for dogs,” says George Abraham. “We live on a lake and thought it was time for a water dog.”
But Oakley is not just a dog that likes to hang out in the lake and swim around. Now 4 years old, she is a water rescue dog whose credentials are impressive — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon. This pup continues to add new skills to her resume each year.
Relate...

Having a serene and functional home office space is essential to maximizing productivity. Like going into a physical office outside of the home, it should help you focus and feel comfortable. Most importantly, it should be a space you enjoy spending eight hours or more every day in. The great thing about a home office is that you can personalize it to your exact specifications, so you can let your creativity flow!
Ergonomics is a priority
One priority for a home office is that you feel physic...

A patio can be a peaceful and serene place for you to relax and escape, entertain friends and family, and serve up some delicious grilled meals. If your patio is small, you can still make the most of it. Strategic Real Estate Advisor Kim Kapellusch told us exactly how to put together the patio of our dreams no matter the size of your space.
If your patio is small and you want it to look and feel more spacious, you can create some visual illusions to make the patio feel more open. Kapellusch r...

The dog days of summer are here. Learn the best ways to keep your pet cool and safe.
Summer is finally here. For pet owners, this means spending time outdoors with your pet! But be careful; just like humans, dogs can overheat from too much sun. Though it’s common sense to find some shade for Fido and keep a bottle of water handy, I’ve rustled up some creative methods that are much more fun. Follow along to learn how to keep your pet cool (and safe!) in the dog days of summer.
1. Whip Up Doggi...